Jeg har transskriberet videoen som man kan se længere nede på bloggen, den med den triste pige der vil blive på sit værelse.
Jeg sendte videoen til Andreas, som sagde, at det fine ved den var, at den med sine abstrakte henvisninger var meget tydelig omkring, at der var tale om en konkret situation med nogle konkrete people. Tror virkelig jeg har skrevet mange digte der har fungeret på den måde, da jeg var på den triste piges alder og da jeg var på den alder som jeg har nu.
Men der er også noget appellerende ved den abstrakte vrede synes jeg. Der er et niveau hvor den talende forsøger at ophøje sin tristhed til ny og prisværdig jura. Også trolde-slaget, hun har om skuldrene. Det er dejligt. Og dejligt med David, han er god nok, det forstår man.
TRANSSKRIPTION AF ”THIS VIDEO IS REALLY A DOWNER”
I just don’t really like people today
and
I just wanna stay in my room
the rest of the day
and not deal with anybody
cause I’m tired
and
I feel
stressed and
I don’t
want to talk to anybody
except for David
cause I always wanna talk to David
because probably after I talk to him I’ll be okay leaving my room but right now
I just don’t
because
I
have a lot of feelings
and sometimes they’re hard for me to deal with
don’t even know why I’m talking to a camera about this
cause it’s not gonna make me feel any better
and
it’s just gonna make other people be like oh no!
what’s wrong
why do you feel bad about stuff
fuck the police
I don’t know I just like
I just get really tired of people
and
when
they
get mad at me for reasons that I feel like aren’t entirely my fault
and
sometimes I feel like people expect too much of other people
and it’s not fair
and I feel like people also don’t look objectively at themselves
which is also not fair but a little understandable because we all live in our own worlds
it’s just frustrating cause when things happen I want to fix them
but I also don’t like interacting with people in order to fix them and I’m not confrontational
so when someone gets upset with me I just want to tell them that they’re right
and validated
and
not say to them
hey
this is why
you might not be right about this or this is why you might need to look at it this way
I also don’t ever wanna feel like I’m making excuses for myself because I hold myself to a higher standard than that so when people do get mad at me I start to feel like I’m doing something wrong and I need to fix me and not
change the way that they’re looking at me
so it’s just all around sucky
and
I don’t wanna leave my room for the rest of the day
so
this is a really downer of a video but this is just how I am feeling today
maybe I won’t later today
but
we’ll just say as of before noon it’s like eleven fifteen right now
as of the morning of april the 8th:
I don’t like people
I guess maybe if I feel better later I might make another video
I guess I could do two in one day, I could make up for others
anyway
I do love you all
have a good day
better than mine
have a good week
god cause it’s monday and you need it
and just have a good life overall try not to let little things get to you and I’ll try to do the same for myself
goodbye
