really a downer II

Jeg har transskriberet videoen som man kan se længere nede på bloggen, den med den triste pige der vil blive på sit værelse.

Jeg sendte videoen til Andreas, som sagde, at det fine ved den var, at den med sine abstrakte henvisninger var meget tydelig omkring, at der var tale om en konkret situation med nogle konkrete people. Tror virkelig jeg har skrevet mange digte der har fungeret på den måde, da jeg var på den triste piges alder og da jeg var på den alder som jeg har nu.

Men der er også noget appellerende ved den abstrakte vrede synes jeg. Der er et niveau hvor den talende forsøger at ophøje sin tristhed til ny og prisværdig jura. Også trolde-slaget, hun har om skuldrene. Det er dejligt. Og dejligt med David, han er god nok, det forstår man.

TRANSSKRIPTION AF ”THIS VIDEO IS REALLY A DOWNER”

I just don’t really like people today

and

I just wanna stay in my room

the rest of the day

and not deal with anybody

cause I’m tired

and

I feel

stressed and

I don’t

want to talk to anybody

except for David

cause I always wanna talk to David

because probably after I talk to him I’ll be okay leaving my room but right now

I just don’t

because

I

have a lot of feelings

and sometimes they’re hard for me to deal with

don’t even know why I’m talking to a camera about this

cause it’s not gonna make me feel any better

and

it’s just gonna make other people be like oh no!

what’s wrong

why do you feel bad about stuff

fuck the police

I don’t know I just like

I just get really tired of people

and

when

they

get mad at me for reasons that I feel like aren’t entirely  my fault

and

sometimes I feel like people expect too much of other people

and it’s not fair

and I feel like people also don’t look objectively at themselves

which is also not fair but a little understandable because we all live in our own worlds

it’s just frustrating cause when things happen I want to fix them

but I also don’t like interacting with people in order to fix them and I’m not confrontational

so when someone gets upset with me I just want to tell them that they’re right

and validated

and

not say to them

hey

this is why

you might not be right about this or this is why you might need to look at it this way

I also don’t ever wanna feel like I’m making excuses for myself because I hold myself to a higher standard than that so when people do get mad at me I start to feel like I’m doing something wrong and I need to fix me and not

change the way that they’re looking at me

so it’s just all around sucky

and

I don’t wanna leave my room for the rest of the day

so

this is a really downer of a video but this is just how I am feeling today

maybe I won’t later today

but

we’ll just say as of before noon it’s like eleven fifteen right now

as of the morning of april the 8th:

I don’t like people

I guess maybe if I feel better later I might make another video

I guess I could do two in one day, I could make up for others

anyway

I do love you all

have a good day

better than mine

have a good week

god cause it’s monday and you need it

and just have a good life overall try not to let little things get to you and I’ll try to do the same for myself

goodbye

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